My name is Kirsty Melmed and I am a life coach who specialises in personal development, spiritual growth and relationship transformation. My mission is to empower you to live life authentically.
I first met with TA when I was 16 years old. A psychologist from New Zealand came to my high school to run a workshop called “Get Real”. It was my first encounter with the concept of personal development so it seems fitting that it included a core TA model – Karpman’s Drama Triangle.
I was immediately drawn in to the simplicity of the model and how perfectly it summed up the dynamics of my most important relationships at the time. That workshop set me on the path to becoming a coach. I completed a BA specialising in Psychological Counselling and decided I was not quite ready to join the ‘Adult’ world just yet. So I set off on a one way ticket to Europe where I spent the next five years exploring, learning and having a whole lot of fun.
During my time working for a youth tour operator, I was responsible for training and managing over 60 team members directly. My favourite part of this was the one on one sit downs I had with each person. Instead of focusing on performance management I followed my instincts and instead focussed on what they wanted to achieve and how they wanted to grow.
When I moved back to Cape Town at the end of 2014 I reflected on my time in Europe and decided that those one on one sessions were my favourite part of a pretty spectacular job. I did some research and discovered life coaching. I had no idea that what I had been doing with those young adults was exactly that. How exciting to realise my passion and purpose!
I came across Karen Pratt’s website and straight away I felt synergy. Not only was she a coach trainer but she offered training in TA. I remembered the Drama Triangle over a decade later and felt my curiosity piqued to learn more. It felt like my journey had come full circle.
Since then I have completed a TA101 and 202 as well as numerous workshops and webinars. I am currently part of the Foundation Year training group with Karen and my fellow SATAA Exco member Andrew. I am working towards a CTA in the Educational field as I love sharing my TA knowledge with others and hope to become a TSTA one day too.
As a coach, I use TA in my sessions ALL the time. It informs the way I coach and I often share the core models with my clients if it feels like it could be helpful to the discussion. I am continuously struck by how universal TA is as a language, and that people from all walks of life can overlay the concepts to their experiences with ease.
I have run workshops both privately and in schools which are based on TA theory. It blows my mind to see how relevant TA is to teachers as they navigate the dynamics of a classroom. I would love to introduce TA into the South African school system as part of the curriculum for learners and as a tool for educators. Who knows, perhaps one day I will…
On a personal level, TA has transformed my relationships with my family and my partner Garth. Over time, as I have animatedly shared the latest bit of theory over many Sunday lunches, they have become accustomed to the terms. Much to my annoyance they have even been known on occasion to point out when they notice me moaning from a ‘not ok’ space… Which of course is really a beautiful gift which I welcome. The more I learn the more I experience my script with new insight. I feel as if TA has given me the tools I need to live my own life authentically and thus practise what I teach.
Being in my thirties and only four years into my chosen career, I feel so grateful to have discovered TA so early on. The Rebellious Child in me has often felt like I am different to the people around me. In the TA community I have found a family of people who speak the same language. It feels incredible to be seen and to see others in such a real way. I can’t wait to find out what the future holds and know that my involvement with the SATAA is the next step on the journey.
For more info please find me at www.kirstymelmedlifecoach.com or on social media with the following handle @kirstymelmedlifecoach.